Numb with Pain

People often ask me “ How are you?”

I’m going to say; well actually, I’m not very well at all, thank you. I’m feeling a bit distressed and lonely. Pissed off at the world. Envious of people and their perfect little lives. And then I’ll tell them about how I started my first job and met loads of new people and how I’m trying hard to pick myself up but that I’m now at a loss about what else to do.

Then I’ll tell them how it pisses me off when everyone says time is a healer when at the same time they also say absence makes the heart go fonder, which really confuses me, because that means that the longer she’s gone the more I want her.

I’ll tell them that nothing is healing at all and that every morning I wake up to my empty life it feels like salt is being rubbed into those unhealing wounds.

And then I’ll tell them about how much I miss my love and about how worthless my life seems without her and I’ll explain how I feel like I’m just waiting for my world to end…..